What do you get when you combine a cow, two candidates and a war hero?

This column should be a home run because I plan on touching all the bases.

There is so much going on right now, and I’m going to write about all of it. If someone asks what my column is about today, you can just say, “Everything.”

Devin Nunes v. Devin Nunes’ Cow

I really hope this case makes it to the Supreme Court. Regardless of how the court would rule, I just want future law students to have to cite the precedent, “Nunes v Cow,” in term papers.

Rep. Nunes is a dairy farmer by trade before getting elected. That’s why a Twitter parodist chose Devin Nunes Cow as the name for a funny account that mocks Nunes on the social media platform.

Nunes is suing the “cow” account, another parody account called Devin Nunes Mom, political activist Liz Mair and Twitter itself for actions he deems problematic during his recent re-election. Nunes – in addition to using his position in Congress to obstruct investigations into the Trump administration and sharing information with Trump and his attorneys – believes that Twitter uses “shadow bans” where the site doesn’t kick conservative voices off the site, but it allegedly distributes their content to fewer people.

Did I mention that this lawsuit was brought by a Congressman who filed a bill intended to limit frivolous lawsuits that are filed simply to cost the accused a lot of money in legal costs when it has no chance to be taken seriously?

It will be interesting to see if any court wants to rule on a case that would tell a private company how it has to operate or take on potential First Amendment issues.

Something tells me Nunes’ lawsuit will be given the same treatment as the stuff that splats on the barn floor in his dairy.

Socialist Senator Sanders?

Bernie Sanders likes to lay claim to being a Democratic Socialist but he is hiding his tax returns because he doesn’t want people to see how well he has done as a capitalist.

Sanders has promised to run as a Democrat in 2020. That’s bad for Sanders and the Democrats. I’m not buying what Sanders is selling – and I certainly wouldn’t stand in line to get it for free. There are a couple dozen Democrats in the race who would be a better pick for the party.

Both sides Beto

Beto O’Rourke gets the Democrats excited. He raised a ton of money. He looks good on television. He sometimes stands on lunch counters and leans down to talk to adoring supporters.

O’Rourke also gets Republicans excited. He almost beat Ted Cruz in Texas and that puts a little fear in the GOP. The Republican National Committee, which has two former finance directors, Steve Wynn and Michael Cohen, currently facing criminal charges, tweeted O’Rourke’s mugshot with a leprechaun hat photoshopped in and talked about drinking responsibly on St. Patrick’s Day. Yes, O’Rourke has an embarrassing arrest in his past. I’m just not sure the official GOP Twitter account is where that attack should come from. That kind of thing used to be seen as beneath one of the two major national parties. Those were the good old days.

The bigger problem with O’Rourke is not his bad decisions years ago, it is that he makes the same policy decisions my sons use when they order a pizza. They get half this, half that. Tonight we can do this if next time we do that.

O’Rourke took a position on assault weapons last week after another one was used in a mass murder. He said he didn’t want to do anything with those that are already in circulation. He just doesn’t want companies to make any more of them.

I’m not sure how his policy would do anything to keep a person bent on killing a lot of people from getting his hands on an assault weapon. O’Rourke can’t decide if he is wishy or washy. Either way, he shouldn’t be taken seriously.

Trump will never win this fight

President Donald Trump beat 17 people to win the Republican nomination. He defied all polls to beat Hillary Clinton in the General Election. He won’t win this fight.

Even in death, John McCain is far too strong to lose to Trump. For some reason, people left Trump by himself all weekend. He tweeted 50 times. That’s totally normal for a 73-year-old.

I wasn’t a huge fan of McCain when he ran for office. It wasn’t so much about him, it was the selection of Sarah Palin as a running mate that lost my vote. I never understood the logic in the decision. They thought, “Barack Obama didn’t choose Hillary Clinton as a running mate, so if we choose Palin, women will vote for us instead of him.” Sure, all women who would vote for Hillary Clinton will be equally excited to vote for Palin because they both use the same public restrooms – that’s really all they have in common.

It was a dumb decision and it probably cost him his chance to be president.

But I have always respected McCain and his service to the country, both in the military and in Congress. Now a man who skipped Vietnam over make-believe bone spurs attacks a guy who was tortured for years in service to his country.

He claims he is upset with McCain because he blames him for delivering the dossier that helped kick off multiple investigations. He is also mad about McCain’s vote to end the push to repeal and replace Obamacare.

But Trump’s trashing of McCain goes back two decades.

The president complained Wednesday that he gave McCain the funeral he wanted and didn’t get a thank you. Trump is right on this one. I worked at a funeral home for a year and saw more than 150 dead people. Not one of them gave me a thank you for moving flower arrangements or vacuuming their rooms. On the other hand, none of them complained so I took the good with the bad.

What Trump really hates about John McCain is that he had courage and convictions. Cowards hate people with courage. Unethical people hate people with convictions. Trump hates McCain because McCain was everything Trump isn’t and never will be.

Luckily for Trump, Senators who served with McCain and called him a friend like Lindsey Graham, have no courage or convictions so they stand by and let the president bully a dead war hero and harass his family six months after he died

Kent Bush is publisher of Shawnee (Oklahoma) News-Star and can be reached at kent.bush@news-star.com.

This article originally appeared on Santa Rosa Press Gazette: What do you get when you combine a cow, two candidates and a war hero?