'Called to orphans'

Editor’s Note: This continues our Celebrate Community series on nonprofit organizations that improve Santa Rosa County residents’ quality of life.

MILTON — Katherine Lockler knew since high school that she would take care of children in need some day. By 2014, her heart for orphans led her to become a foster parent.

ANSWERING THE CALL

In high school, Lockler learned about Mother Teresa of Kolkata, formerly Calcutta, India, who was dedicated to helping the poor.

“(The Bible) talks about true religion (as) caring for widows and orphans,” Lockler said.

Lockler and her husband, Corey, married in 2009, and their own interest in caring for those in need blossomed.

“We talked about being foster parents on our first date," Lockler said. "It was something he felt called to for ministry and I always felt called to orphans. It was kind of birthed in our hearts in 2009.”

The two took in their first foster child on March 4, 2015.

“I got pregnant so we had to put it on hold. We had three babies from 2009 to 2013,” Lockler said.

The family moved to Santa Rosa County in July 2014 and started eight weeks of classes with the Families First Network.

“Some classes were about what drives you to be (a foster parent) and the traumas some of the children have gone through and how to respond," Lockler said. "There are different ways to redirect them. Foster kids have had a lot of experiences kids shouldn’t have … They’ve have had authority figures be cruel.”

'IT WAS SUCH A BLESSING'

The Locklers first received help from My Father’s Arrows, a nonprofit organization that supports children in foster care, when they got their fifth foster child.

“I was working in pediatrics at Sacred Heart and a child came in whose mother passed away the night of the tornadoes in Pensacola in March 2016," Lockler said. "The 2-year-old needed immediate placement … Everything was on lockdown and I said I’d take him home with me … Somebody said My Father’s Arrows consignment shop gives free clothing to families with foster kids. That was how we were introduced at first … It was such a blessing because (the child) didn’t have anything. It was not a time to spend tons of money on clothes."

The Locklers learned some lessons as they became foster parents. 

“They told us in the class to think before we say we’re going to save all the world, to think what would be appropriate for our family … We thought we could bring two kids in. Someone recommended not doing that. I was in save-them-all mode. It didn’t work well because we had a five-, a three- and a two-year-old and we brought in a two-year-old and a six-month-old. There was a lot of fighting. These children needed one-on-one attention.”

'IT'S A STEREOTYPE'

Lockler didn’t expect some of the challenges.

“It’s a stereotype," she said. "I think there are more stories in the news about bad foster parents than good ones. Every time you hear sad stories of someone’s life, they’re put into a foster home and abused. It’s always something negative. You never hear the beautiful stories of a family taking in a child. It flips the family upside down but you have to persevere and love on them. It’s hard. It’s not an easy thing.”

And the children themselves don’t always see the foster parent as the savior, according to Lockler.

“No matter how bad the parents are, that’s Mommy and Daddy and I’m the intruder," she said. "There are a lot of things to overcome in the beginning.”

And Lockler said she often feels negativity in the community for having a large family.

“We now have an African American baby and I get looks like, ‘Why is that child with you?’ from a lot of people. She’s smiling. We’re smiling but people don’t grasp that this is a family that’s taken this child in.”

Then there are judgments for using public assistance.

“Our baby … gets formula," Lockler said. "Being a foster child, she’s eligible for WIC (the special supplemental nutrition program for women, infants, and children) so we use that to get baby formula. It’s one less expense we take on.

"You don’t get paid a lot to be foster parent … With five to six children, using the WIC card, everyone immediately stereotypes you…"

'PEACE COMES OVER THEM'

The rewards outweigh the challenges, Lockler said. One example is seeing her own family support fostering.

“One of the biggest things is how my children have the heart to serve these children," she said. "The oldest is now 7. When I tell her, ‘Hey, another child is coming to stay with us,’ they get so excited … Watching our children, as young as they are, step into that missionary role and love on our children is so awesome to me.”

She also saw changes in the children they’ve fostered.

“A child comes in and starts with one personality and, after receiving security and love and being in a family full of peace, you see their countenance change. It’s not immediate, but peace comes over them as well. It’s nice to see the transition. That’s only from the Lord …

'IT'S A LOT OF WORK' 

For anyone interested in foster parenting, Lockler suggested taking classes.

“Taking the class prepares you. Even when you’re licensed, you can say you’re not ready yet. You can wait and then, when you’re ready, in a short time a child will be at door.”

And having a support network helps.

“I don’t think families should do it by themselves," she said. "They can, but the burnout rate is so high with foster parents.

"If you don’t have people around you doing this with you, you will lose heart, because it’s a lot of work.”

This article originally appeared on Santa Rosa Press Gazette: 'Called to orphans'