This weekend many will celebrate Valentine’s Day. Being a married woman, I love to have a fuss made over me by my handsome husband and I’m not ashamed to say so. I understand why there are nay-sayers out there who just don’t understand. Do we need a special day to honor romance? With married couples already celebrating their wedding anniversary and those dating celebrating their relationship genesis, isn’t Valentines just a Hallmark holiday?
In some ways Valentine’s Day does promote consumerism, but to each individual it means something different. To some singles it’s a lonely holiday without a partner to celebrate. To others, it is an opportunity to make their feelings known.
While in school, it was a time to show a secret crush your admiration. However, the paralyzing fear of the secret being exposed left many valentines bereft of a hand made card. It’s heartbreaking when a boy finds out a girl likes him and it’s isn’t reciprocated. She puts herself out there and feels humiliated.
For example, Pa tells Laura on Little House on the Prairie episode “Talking Machine,” when the boy Laura likes finds out she has a crush on him in a nasty Nellie Olsen way, he tells his heartbroken daughter, “There are a lot of funny notions born inside of us, Half-Pint, and one of the funniest is that we’re supposed to hide the way we feel about others. Everyone needs to feel that they’re loved, needed and cared about. Anyone who doesn’t want to know that has something wrong with them.”
I saw this episode when I was a child and I thought it was the wisest thing I’d heard up to that point. It was terrifying for me in grammar school for a certain cute boy to find out I had a crush. When Pa said this to Laura it made me feel better. I’d love to sau I changed my tactics and was transparent with my admiration from 6th grade to my senior year. That’s not true. But whenever I was embarrassed, I remembered the truth of that story and moved on. My most difficult time was at 10 years old when I was “madly” in love with a boy in school who didn’t know I was alive. I tried my best to get his attention, but to no avail. I was utterly hurt when I didn’t receive a valentine that year.
My daddy told me, when I took this problem to him and wasn’t feeling very attractive in the 5th grade, it just wasn’t logical to feel like an ugly duckling. He asked me if I thought my cousin Cindy was pretty. I said yes. What about cousin Amy? Of course, Amy is very pretty, I said. You’re a Blankenship. Doesn’t that mean you’re pretty? Logic always wins out when your daddy says so. Beauty by way of genetic association. I am the only short, red headed, freckled faced cousin. Now, it's not so bad. Back then, it was awful.
God tells us to love one another the way He loves us and to treat each other with kindness. Sharing love on a nation-wide holiday is just one way we can do this if we don’t have the courage to come forth otherwise. It also opens the door for a day of giving to others who may not have someone to help or receive thoughtful gestures.
Valentine’s Day give us the opportunity to make secret feelings known. It’s more than just about purchasing cards and flowers. It’s about making others feel loved, needed and cared about.
In today’s society when nearly 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce, I think couples need to say I love you more often than just once a year. As a married woman, I find it most romantic when my handsome husband finds some special way to honor our relationship on Valentine’s Day. Am I sometimes disappointed? Yes, but he shows me love, honor and respect every day.
This article originally appeared on Santa Rosa Press Gazette: HOLT: Be someone's Valentine